necropolis -six tits of doom!
Well, seeing as this is my first post here, i guess i should introduce myself to who ever is reading this. my name is Johnny Dickie, i am a film maker and a VHS collector. thats all you need to know. i will be posting reviews for movies that have not yet been released on to the world in the dvd or bluray formats. i will be posting these hopefully every week, or when ever i get off of my ass and watch some movies. seeing as this is my first review, lets start it with a bang, and some tits. all six of them. the first time i watched necropolis, was the same day i got the vhs, i pulled it out of its box and stuck it right in my vcr. big mistake. i was watching this film with my friend, who made my first sitting very enjoyable. i had somebody to make jokes at the movie with. but my second sitting was when the real pain set in. i had nothing to say that time, it was just me, and a really bad movie. the movie opens with a woman, who's name for the life of me i can't remember, all i know is she is a witch, dancing around 80's style for a few minutes until i noticed that it is supposed to take place i the 1600's. just great. after some woman gets killed and the witch is destroyed, we cut to the 1980's, a sign from god. what unfolds is the reincarnate of the witch starts to kill random people, for no reason, i guess she is trying to find a ring that gives her power and life, but many of the people she kills are just hookers and pimps, and a chick with dirty hair with rainbow highlights. at the end, a big fight unfolds between a really kick ass black dude, who may or may not be by-sexual, a virgin, and an ass-hole cop who molests our heroin. our heroes every body. the witch gets burnt, and only her hand remains. with the ring on it. it crawls all the way to the hero's house, (no longer a virgin) and possesses her. we assume she kills the man she was sleeping with, and the last shot is of her walking outside and smoking a cig. the end. what i want to know is what happed to the hand? did it just die or is it still alive? and if so, how, i saw the chick at the end with the ring, and if she got possessed there would be nothing to keep the hand alive. one of the questions for the ages. over all, this movie is not as funny or "good" as i make it sound, the deaths are not gory, and the scene with six tits is not worth it. trust me, there is a reason i skipped over that part. pick up the vhs if you see it, i got mine for about 10 bucks, but you know what, return of the living dead 4 is worth more. i'm just saying.
